Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
