If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He kissed a someone with a penis
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
