this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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