Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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