i don't like sucking hair
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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