i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
