I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
