is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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