I just cut my nipple shaving
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
