if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
