We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
