For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
