I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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