I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Randomize
