i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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