i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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