I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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