You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
i think my cat just said my name.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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