i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
