I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Randomize
