He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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