I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
