Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize