Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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