Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
