could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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