Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
