This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
barbara walters just said penis...
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I have fence marks all over my body
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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