i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
