I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
