Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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