He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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