If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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