i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
