Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
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He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
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So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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