wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize