Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
