you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
