I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
