dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
