Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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