I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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