do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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