I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
