I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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