It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
