I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Dignity is for republicans.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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