I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize