dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
