Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
