what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
