no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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