Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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