That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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