just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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