Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize