bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
