WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me