The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
No stitches, just platelets and will power
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
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Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
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The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.