bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
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you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
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Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...