he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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