and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
They have beer where we have blood.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
