is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I FOUND THE LEGS
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