maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
