I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Randomize