i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
