i barfeds in our rink
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
